I'm alone wiyh my thoughts.

And thats when i am most dangerous.

Last night i was texting a certain someone who despie me intially hurting her. Hurt me so much more. i was being my goofy self when i made a joke that i used to make with her and then sat there, and contimplated it.

I then picked up my phone and text her back.
I used to say somthing cheeky or rude then deny ever saying it and add " I didn't say it, I am A good Christian Choir boy.

No. No i am not. i am a cheeky rude innapproriate idiot. I am smarter and more intelligent then I Imply  even to the point where it is obnoxious and annoying.

But i dont act it.

i am more skilled then most builders as i have learnt all these skills since i was 7 years old, but i dont brag about it.

i am funny sweet caring kind and hardworking. i know this because i want to be a "nice guy" i want to be the guy your mum is proud you date.
i want to be the guy who you can rely on, talk to and ultiamtely trust.

Your mum was proud of you for me.
i was your closest friend.
i was the best god dam thing that happend to you.
and your were one of the worst things i have ever done.
And what i am now?
IS FUCKING AWESOME.
and you dont get to see it.
Bad luck.

(i know how twatish this sounds. and how stupid and idiotic this is. but she did a number on me. and I needed to get it out oif my system.)