SO

I have probably lost my summer job to my ex her brother and her bf.

i have the bare scratchings of money to live off.
i want to do some great stuff next year.


I'm off to buy a lottery ticket. its my best chance.

well that Escalated

one of the good guys back in kent had been with his gf for 4 years when she choose to end it this morning before they both went to work.

he in short is distraught, he can barely think he hurts and i have never heard him so emotional as he is right now.

he loves at home with his mum and attends the same university as his now ex.

they both were best friends and i thought were the only relationship that would survive the university change of life. i thought they would survive as they both were intellectually the same emotionally and perosnality wise, they just meshed perfectly.


a few weeks ago i had a conversation with the (now) ex and she asked me alot of questions about my break up with my ex as she asked, how did you know? What did you think about the time you had spent together? were you scared to waste it? i just said i did what was right for both of us and decided that it wasnt wasted but staying together wen i didnt feel the same was going to be wasted.

three weeks later after the holidays are out the way (they both have never traditionally celebrated new years massively) they have broken up. i am not saying its my fault.

but for His sake i hope i wasnt what pushed her over the edge.
because she is copying what i did word for word, action for action.

And I can see how it hurts.
Sorry Tash.

Lets Have a Update.

one of my best friends (or actually my best friend but if you tell her ill kill you) has started a blog! Its brilliant!
I've been ill for nearly 2 days now and have spent it texting this new found blogger for over a day (shes kept me sane)

ive seen three good films (for the first time) in total its been like 5 (8 films)

The Raid: a martial arts action film made up of nearly 80 asians beating the shit out each other,

The Remake of Total Recall: i prefer the orginal but this remake is on a new scale of good.

Friends with Kids: Flat out parental Romcom as t is about late 20's early 30 somethings falling for each other, very enjoyable a "feel good film"

but i cannot wait to go to uni and see the people that i have found a special place for.
and i dont know if to hit them or hug them.

ill get back to you on it.

at this point it is very much hug.
and as quite an obvious streal from this new bloggers profile
http://notsoaliceinwonderland.blogspot.co.uk/

Thank you.

Pageviews today

20

Pageviews yesterday

34

Pageviews last month

410

Pageviews all time history

1,000

Last one for the night

i'm nearly at 1000 views but only 3 followers. i dont know who else is reading this but if you could. post a message. tweet me . its @CaptainBPugwash i want to personnaly thank you.
(if gracie could tweet this out i would be grateful)

Not sure

what that last blog as about it was just a bit of a vague ramble.


But the last three people i mentioned at the end i doubt you'l read this but you have made my 2012 and i cant wait to start at uni again to see you smiling faces and silly grins to know i am in for a bullying of a lifetime.


i love you three. Thank you.

Do you ever?

Look at yourself and think what the hell am i doing?

i am singing Adele with my family having just done a murder mystery night, i'm wearing one of my six onesises (my superman one) and blogging at half 11 at night.

Other then it being pretty awesome  i had a great think about what i look like. and what kind guy i am.

This is not me.

 

thisis Ryan Gosling in the brilliantly entertaining, Stupid Crazy Love.

he is swarve sexy and a player.

 

This is me.

 

 

or this

And this.

 

 

 

Tbh i am most like The character Scott pilgrim when it comes to it.

 

when it comes to girls.

 

When it comes to trying to get my message across.

Or simply becuase of my video game obession.

 

 

In my group i would be the "third Attractive one" of the guys (out of four) and i am a best friend not a boyfriend material. and it is somewhat disheartening but at the same time.

i am one of a group of 4 who are near enough perfect group who i get lucnh with every tuesday

Jess

Vicky

Elliott

Chances are your not reading this but your awesome.



One of the Excommunicated and the Madam.

Said they were going to try and find me someone this year, its a very sweet thought.

and tbh. i think i could do with the help

I'm alone wiyh my thoughts.

And thats when i am most dangerous.

Last night i was texting a certain someone who despie me intially hurting her. Hurt me so much more. i was being my goofy self when i made a joke that i used to make with her and then sat there, and contimplated it.

I then picked up my phone and text her back.
I used to say somthing cheeky or rude then deny ever saying it and add " I didn't say it, I am A good Christian Choir boy.

No. No i am not. i am a cheeky rude innapproriate idiot. I am smarter and more intelligent then I Imply  even to the point where it is obnoxious and annoying.

But i dont act it.

i am more skilled then most builders as i have learnt all these skills since i was 7 years old, but i dont brag about it.

i am funny sweet caring kind and hardworking. i know this because i want to be a "nice guy" i want to be the guy your mum is proud you date.
i want to be the guy who you can rely on, talk to and ultiamtely trust.

Your mum was proud of you for me.
i was your closest friend.
i was the best god dam thing that happend to you.
and your were one of the worst things i have ever done.
And what i am now?
IS FUCKING AWESOME.
and you dont get to see it.
Bad luck.

(i know how twatish this sounds. and how stupid and idiotic this is. but she did a number on me. and I needed to get it out oif my system.)

Today/....

I'm going to be blogging....
Like a Mofo
Watch this space.

I'm taking a piece out...

Of the Wonderful Gracie's book.


I'm going to home tommorrow afternoon to surprise my parents.

YOLO

We are a ragtag group.

i have made a fantastic circle of friends this term at Uni.

We have Jess who is the bones of our group and keeps us motivated in check and in control.

she works hard and cares about what she does and very self-motivated.
She knows what she wants/likse and a little blunt in your apporach but that adds to your charm,

and when she come across something new she become fascinated,

and I love it.

 

We have Dan he wants to be a policeman and has already begun his training to do so, quite relaxed about everything which means he is incredibly solid. he provides a liktee stability and reliabilty in the group. A huge fan of football he is an arsenal fan.
Dont hate on him.

We Have Elliott he loves video games, films, comics, and bondage. when describing him i call him a social anomaly. even more so now then ever. because he has no limit or stopping point. wat least he hasnt found it yet. i host a radio show with him and he is actually one of my closest friends. just scared to bend over in front of him. or around him.

We have Vicky best described as a "vintage" girl but under recent discovery she geeks out to lol-anything and used to be a hardcore enmo kid. awesome. We get on like  a house on fire, and i have gotten drunk with her more times then i wish to count. she has her own blog go look at it.

There are more that fit into our group but these are my wonderfully brillaint tuesday crew.
they rock.

sometimes...

when my train is moving alongside another, i wish someone would hand me a rifle and shouted open fire and an epic fight would ensue. As the two trains race through the stations of london, me and whatever unit i find by my side attempt to wipe out the enemy train.

when i see a man with a long suspicous item i wish id draw my own sword and we battle while music plays.

i see a helicopter and hope it will land to take me somewhere to save the world.

i am a imagination nutjob.


But i amlooking for a hell of an adventure.

am i crazy?
Almost certainly.

on the 17th day of christmas i'm fiannly back on track.

i decided to treat you all well with a bit more of my book.

She peered through the small window of the door at the strange child through her dirty blond hair, she was inexperienced but it was this girl’s aura was damaged and her mind was almost completely consumed by darkness. Yet here she lay in the wards and her master, Flint, was sat about 5 feet away reading through his law book. This text contained all the laws and rules that governed the angels. His bronze hair was flopping over his eyes. He had mentioned that he had met the girl before. He said he was trying to find the source of the darkness he felt and it found him. Mainly because a year ago, she crashed into him in the middle of the street.

 More often than not it’s how he finds the darkness in the world.

She sat down next to him peering over his shoulder hoping to see what he was thinking, “ is there a problem or are you just being a personal space invader?” she leant back pouting, her eyes watching him with a grumpy glare. She was quite a petite girl; her thin arms were a complete contrast to the power she actually possessed. Dressed in what flint referred to as her personal style she wore a combination of colourful t-shirts underneath a blue hooded top. Her short pixie hair was a blond that was dirtied by small pieces of brown. She occasionally wore glasses to her personal disdain but they were required to read through the massive novels she had to refer to in her “studies.”

Flint was her master and as they go he was very open and relaxed. He respected her individuality; she could dress how she liked ate whenever she wanted, practice or study any areas of the laws she wanted him to teach her. The only thing she didn’t control was her name. Her name was given to her by flint, he was her master, he was given his name by his master, and now he gave her the name she would forever go by an old tradition that made up pretty much the entirety of the angel’s rules and laws. She only knew this from her lessons.

She could remember the day he chose to become her master. Before she became an angel she was somewhat adrift, weeks had gone by and she hadn’t felt right, her head was full of fog and she could just recall that there were many men in white coats, they poked and prodded her, they kept telling her parents to be prepared. She never knew what for but her mum would spend hours sat by hair holding back tears, her dad told her over and over again that she has to be strong. The fog got worse every day till she could no longer make sense of what was day and what was night, who were her parents and who were the doctors. Till one moment out of the blue the fog cleared and one figure was stood before her. Flint appeared and told her he needed her to help him. She understood and tried to rise from her bed where she lay and couldn’t move and inch’ Confused she looked at her body and there it lay, drained, tired and empty, but before the  very last of her energy left her body flint appeared by her side and holding her hand. With a smirk he added, “Time to come with me Dakota.“

And that’s how her training began. Taken from the men in the white coats, her first day was sat in her room in the wards, the home of the angels, it wasn’t silent not a sound could be heard, but a hum a energy filled the halls, she sat there for hours just letting the hum consume her. The room was simple yet elegant; the walls where high and completely white, there was a bed in a corner and a desk in the opposite corner that had a marble tablet that consumed the majority of the table top. Both of these objects had he name Dakota engraved into the Solid white wood that they were made from, she had been here for merely hours, but this room had clearly been ready for months. Deep in the thought of where on earth she actually was when Flintys voice came from the large Metal door that she had barely noticed “I think you’ll find Dakota that we are not on earth at all.” He kicked open the heavy door and strode into the room carrying a pile of thick volumes. Dakota’s face dropped, they were huge books bound with thick leather, and a glint of amusement was in his eyes. “You don’t have to read all of these” he chuckled “I’ll give you the brief summary“. He dropped them onto her bed that creaked menacingly, as if it would retaliate towards Flint for his clear unconcern towards it. He cocked his head and raised an eyebrow at the sound of the bed creaking, “that can’t be good”.

Madam.

I dont care that it makesher sound like a pimp its whats she getting, she is a 18 year old woman who is probably the only girlour age who deserves the title of woman. shes mature, sensible, caring and intelligent.
but she is far from dull.

She drinks as much as any northerner i know.
She laughs at god awful jokes
she laughs and makes jokes about the easiet sex joke she can serioulsy i am going to make a blogpost on my 69th one called 69.
(Madam if pregnant girl had a White Bf would 69ing be called Ying yanging?)

she keeps my sane and the closest friend i have made at uni. her dad works on motorcycles, she draws, she works hard and i care for her.

and i dont mean it in the way of she my friend so i care.

i mean it in the i give her a cuddle in the middle of the night cause she woke up with a terror.

(and she had a longterm relationship with a guy who wishes he was Psy)


she isnt boring she is brilliant
and to save the FB convo that will follow here is my responses.

yes you are
no i am right.
no i am right sometimes.
yes i know but!

DAMMIT LET ME BE NICE.
yes your righhhht.

One more before bed

I STILL HAVE NO IEA WHAT I AM DOING

but i am getting into together.


sometimes you find that the hardest thing to do in a day to day life is just to do day to day activities. i have to pay xmas presents collect books for my CW for uni.

i have made some exceptional friends in the last 8 weeks but there is a crew
us simple souls.
Captain Pugwash (me)
Madam Victoria (she has a full length furcoat)
Pvt Jess (her Bf is in the miltary)
PC Dan (doing his police training)
Sexpest Elliott (SP) he's a sexpest.

i am sure they will make their appearaqnces in thsi blog over the time.

SP and  host a radio show together.
PC and me have simialr gaols of becoming a Special policeman
Madam and the Captain are both are housewives
Pvt and me bh have the same work ethics

they are my tuesday lunch crew.
they are Captain Pugwash Greenwich Crew.

god i'm so behind

there is six "hats" in personality traits.

White hat calls for facts figures, the certain the scientific the right.

The Yellow hat looks for optimism and brightness, the benefits is what they look for

The Black hat is logic identified to applying reason and be caustious and conservative

The Red hat signifies feelings fears sadness love dislike. Hate.

The Green hat focuses on possibilities alternatives and new ideas.

The Blue hat is used to manage the thinking process its a control mechanism and observes that the hats are following their nature.

But the  best friendship circles are this six combined.

I tink i am a Blue.
 

iM TWO BLOGS BEHIND!

On the 13th day of christmas he had broken up with his gf the night before, he had not had any sleep, he had no appetie. a scruffy brown-haired teen with glasses speckled with rain entered one of his university buildings, and began his ascent to the top floor.  To his side stood a a slightly shorter skinny friend with blond hair that sits like a loose mop on his head. they ascended while exchanging in mild pointless chatter both hesistant with the excitement of what was to come.

They reached the top floor walked briefly and arrived at an old brown door. the unlocked it and entered the tiny studio donned their headphones and began a 2 hour radio show where they chatted,played music and bored the hell out of their producer.

The show ended, peacfully, the brown hair boy left got a on a bus to a shorthaired girls flat where a christmas party was being thrown, he funded dinner met his asian friend and they proceeded to spend the next 8 hours drinking like fools both aware of what they must face the following morning.

the morning broke, the brown hair boy and his asian companion rose from the semi consicous alcohol fueled slumber and fell onto the first bus to the university.

they entered the building from yesterday ascended the stairs in silence in which they entered the tiny room with the old brown door. hey donned their headphones and created the best morning show the radio statio ever had the good favour of broadcasting.

I am a uni student.
I am the brown haired boy.
and i still have no idea what i am doing.

I need to...

go bust some balls in winchester.

Jurd.

if your reading this i am truely sorry for how it ended, i coudnt lie to you and when you asked me outright what i thoughtwe shoulddo i felt i had to be honest.

your an incredible girl perfect even, but it didnt feel righ and i couldnt let i carry on, thats my problem.

And in terms of thursday you can still talk to me

11th day of xmas

i'm not in a great mood.
BUGGER.
Imy and Grace once again have made my day.

Rant(1)

i have no fucking clue what i am doing, sometimes i find myself in some level of control my work is okay my grades are okay and im not at all concerned, i have my social life sorted i miss so many people. but i'm homesick. i miss how simple things were. i miss eastbourne i miss my old friends and i miss just fooling around in drama because i could.

i got a random phone call from a very old very close friend, we go weeks or even months without speaking but we can meet up after all this time and sit in a train station drink hot choclate and its like no time has passed at all.

she phoned me to tell me that she had slipped and was in A&E (i believe she cracked her wrist).
i felt the world refocus and the balance was restored. because she needed me and i was able to listen and i will always do that for her.

there is a forever stamp somewhere on this friendship. especially as her other bestie is a bit of a tool.

but i need to restore my balance because everything is fine.
but i havent a fucking clue what i am doing in all seriousness

on the 9th day of december

My girl met my dad.
watched Scott Pilgrim

i was thinking earlier on what i was intending to write today but it slipped my mind.
if it comes back to me ill WRITE IT DOWN quickly.

i was thinking about chances and how to take advantage and not to let them go.

The chance of the going to uni under the new system is slim, the importance of the degree and the value would allow you to get more jobs from it.

not many people would let this chance slide.
i am not one of thsoe people.
but i know two who i spend time with that are.
and i know one adjacent through knowledge.

wht are they going to do with their lives.

not going to uni and getting a job is a honourable and respectable choice.
droppin gout or just flat out flunking?
THATS GOD DAM STUPID.

on the 8th day of december...

i managed to do some revision.

there is a member of our "group" who irratates me to no end.

they tell stories to try and shock.
they have no care for uni just for having a uni life.
they critique others for behaivour they exhibit themselves.

i have joined, granted a tiny, uni radio station.

they said to me "No offence but i am NOT going to listen to you."
next breath OH but can i come on and talk about my fundraising?

that is who they are.
they might become an excommunicated.

Well what do you do?

you like sherlock holmes
you like old films
you like drama over comedy
you like dancing
you like me

you smile when you make yourself laugh
you smile when you something makes you laugh.
you smile when you dont know if you should laugh
you smile when you talk about things you care about
you smile when you look at me

What do you do?
you make me smile.
you make me happy
you make me say stupid things.
you make me laugh
you make me quote tarzan.

Another Collins Shindig.

 

 

There will be a video with the extra stuff i filmed.

 

 

But we say goodbye to another Collins as my Aunty Hanna becomes Hanna ____

I refuse to acknowledge cause us Collins Clan are slowly dying out and it was drawn to my attention i am the only and responsible for continuing the name of Collins-Jones.

 

the freaking happy couple.

 

I drank to much

 

I danced to much

i said lots of stupid things

and then danced some more.

(all badly)



 

We entertained ourselves.

 

We Discovered Family Traits.

 

 

Then Drank Some more.

 

 

It was a good night.

Just i hate alcohol.

And my feet.

and my head.

and my dad's best mates and godbrothers snboring.

 

 

Next Time i wasn my OWN DAM ROOM.

 

 

Counting Sheep (i)

what do you do when sleep alludes you?

in 10 hours 27 minutes and roughly 30 seconds (although i suspect this would somewhat decrease by the time i have completed this blog.) i am meeting my new girlfriend's mother. and i'm nervous.

which means I cant sleep. 

now my mother when she cant sleep at three in the morning has be known to make surplus cups of tea, eat incredible amounts of cookies, cakes and on one occasion a eggtart.

my sister maddie reads chapter upon chapters of silly twlight spawned novels of zombies being in love or vampirse who attend a night school along side humans who are yet to turn into vampires and become trainee vampires, called vampyres. i think.

my other sister bex spends hours on her phone, but isnt actually tlking to anyone. or hours on youtube.

my stepdad checks his emails, then goes to sleep.

my dad falls asleep wacthing tele,on the floor. on a sunday, at 3pm, in his pajamas. his concept of not being able to sleep is cause i kick him as i am trying to get throught the lounge to make a sandwich.

I've tried counting sheep.
i've tried milk.
i've tried youtube.
ive read three chapters already. (seriously Game of Thrones get on it.)
i've checked my emails.
i cant sleep on the floor so....


what do you do when you cant sleep?

500 views! (add of summer) ((and Lyricism 3))

 

Brick By Boring Brick: Paramore

 

So one day he found her crying
Coiled up on the dirty ground
Her prince finally came to save her
And the rest you can figure out

But it was a trick
And the clock struck twelve
Well make sure to build your home brick by boring brick
or the wolf's gonna blow it down


 

Dirty Little Secret: All American Rejects

 

 

Who has to know?

When we live such fragile lives

It's the best way we survive

I go around a time or two

Just to waste my time with you

Dance Dance: Fall Out Boy  

You always fold just

Before you're found out

Drink up, it's last call, last resort

But only the first mistake and
I'm two quarters and a heart down

And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds

These words are all I have so I'll write them

So you need them just to get by

New Perspective: Panic!

Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face

 

Ready to Go ; Panic!

 

 

You got these little things that you've been running from

You either love it or guess you don'

tYou're such a pretty thing to be running from anyone

A vision with nowhere to go
So tell me right now, you think you're ready for it

I wanna know why you got me going

So let's go, we'll take it outta here

I think I'm ready to leap,

I'm ready to live

I'm ready to go


 

 

 



the ex-communicated members of pugwash's crew

there are so many of them


i sometiems wonder if i will manage to keep anyone

but then i think fuck it they were not worth the trouble

Why i Play Video Games

GET ME MY SHOTGUN AND THREE KEGS OF WHISKY

THAT BASTARD IS DESERTING AND I AM GOING AFTER HIM

this is why i stop playing video games at half 1 in the morning i spuyrt struff like this

WHERES THE WHISKEY?
This is why i start again at 10 inthe morning.

what did you do today?

 

 

WELL

I started Off late.

Couldnt find my oyster card

Wandered around canary wharf trying to find the jubilee station.

did two circles and found a magic place where business folk play pingpong

 

 

Went to Baker Street and Visited Sherlock holmes

 

I know. just dont say it.

 

 

 

Walked from bakerloo along regent street

 looking at all the pretty christmas stuff

 

Got Distracted in a toy shop

got molested by the hulk

 

Continued down regewnt street singing the tweleve days of christmas

got confused by fake snow and a drunk balloon

 

ended up at saint james park

Stealth Squirrel attacked us  

 

Visted the queen

she wouldnt let me in

soemthing about a corgi

*clap*

something about a corgi

 

i did all this with this girl

who i vry much like a lot

*clap*

very

 

not bad for a first date

 



my mum always told me...

violence is wrong and you should never throw the first punch

but if it comes to it then make sure you throw the second or third

nervous. really?

today i was going to ask a girl if we are going to officialise our relationship


i got shy and chickened out

#REALLLLLLY BEN

The ex-communicated members of Pugwash's crew

there are a few people who i have actively taken offence to,

i have added on to my list a man of late because of his behaivour.

my issue lies in the high ground as one man Kon. he hated his course and tried to join our criminology and criminal pyschology, but was rejected and ultimately had to return home to canada because there was no room on our course.

A memebr of my crew who has a space on the course has....

missed over 50% of his lectures
not completd any seminar work
not revised for any exams
handed his essay in 20 minutes bofre the deadline after i helped himfor two weeks to complete it.
scraped a pass by hitting the required score right on the head.

he wastes his space when kon has to uproot his life all over again.

He is excommuncated. good luck without my help.

schedule for tonight

two blogs going out tonight

i want to hit 500 views by the end of the week

I did switch off at gillmore girls

2 years?

20 years?

things are still early yet cissy

NOW I KNOW

just being able to argue with you like we are such close friends despite barely seeing is great.


BUT ILL STILL THROW DOWN AND KICK YOUR ARSE

And i'm.... Lyricism (2)

I posts about my mood using lyrics that i listen to,

my song collection is vast but what i actually listen to varies on my mood on life not that point in time, but on life in full.
and I try to tell a story of whats been happening.
see if you can get read it.

All Time Low: Forget About It

True, I'm a walking disaster

They told you to stay away

Seems like I'm making

A deal with the devil

Who's whispering softly to me

 Are you sure that she's the one?

'Cause I feel Like a bad joke

Walk the tight rope

To hold on to you

Was it real?

 Or a love scene,

  From a bad dream

 

Fun: We Are Young

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I’ll carry you home tonight

 

All American Rejects: Move Along

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking

When you fall everyone sins

Another day and you've had your fill of sinking

With the life held in yourHands are shaking cold

These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me

 

 

 

Bellowhead: New York Girls

 

 

When I awoke next morning, I had an aching head
And there was I Jack all alone, stark naked in me bed
My gold watch and my money and my lady friend were gone
And there was I Jack all alone, stark naked in the room

So sailor lads, take warning when you land on New York shore
You'll have to get up early to be smarter than a whore


 

Fall Out Boy: This aint' a scene, its an arms race

 

All the boys who the dance floor didn't love

And all the girls whose lips couldn't move fast enough

Sing until your lungs give out

 

Trian: Soul Sister

 

 

  I knew I wouldn't forget you

And so I went and let you

Blow my mind
Your sweet moonbeam

The smell of you in every

Single dream I dream

I knew when we collided

You're the one I have decided

Who's one of my kind

Hey soul sister

Ain't that mister mister

On the radio, stereo

The way you move ain't fair, you know

Hey soul sister

I don't wanna miss

A single thing you do

Tonight

 

Micheal Buble: Feeling good

 

 

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me

 

And I'm Feeling good...



Well, Do you?

Is it possible to detect lies with a single indicator?  If not, why not?

People might inhibit several indicators

some will fidget while others might look away, do you know your own indicators?

Do you know other peoples? Those close to you?

Condemnation Of The Condemners.

Who is to blame for your actions?

Crime is the breaking of a law set out by the governing body in a nation.
In terms of society Crime is the deviant act the breaks away from the values of a society.

But on a day to day basis are you deviant? 
Do you go out your way to hurt people ? do you listen to "stolen" music on your ipod? do you try an cheat your train fare to cost you less?

by all means these acts are deviant because in a society they are considered illegal or "morally illegal"

i have many theories about life, more specifically, about people. People are good, i believe in all of them. they are good. every last of them but i do believe in some cases, that people have a evil that cannot be settled. these people are

Condemnation of the condemners.
The offenders or deviants maintain that those who condemn their offense are doing so purely out of spite, or are shifting the blame off of themselves unfairly.

they do it because they believe that people would expect it from them. or because out of spite

Denial of the victim. The deviant believes that the victim deserved whatever action the deviant committed.

this one is explains itself really.

Denial of injury. The offender insists that their actions did not cause any harm or damage.

actually I think they do not care more then they simply do not belive they will cause harm.


Thing is people like this are what you would call, Deviants, but by all means. i am a deviant because these people draw this from response

Appeal to higher loyalties. The deviant suggests that his or her behaviour was for the greater good, with long term consequences that would justify their actions, such as protection of a friend.

these people are what are called bitches players douches whores sluts
these are the mean girls the jocks the bullies.

these are student evil.

god help you if ou come across me.

what to write.... what to write...

sometimes i find myself unable to blog purely because i have no experiance or anything interesting to say but sometimes just sometimes,

i am too tired


tonight by all means is that night i have spent the day helping out a film crew on their project so i am exhausted HOWEVER

i have a party tommorrow WOOP WOOP its time for a party!

Cause everybody talks....:lyricism (1)

Panic!At The Disco - This is Halloween

Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?
Come with us and you will see
This, our town of Halloween

Neon Tree - Everybody Talks

 

It started with a whisper.... and that is when i kissed her...

untill my lips hurt

everybody talks everbody talks...

to much.

 

We are Kings - Say You Like me

She's the girl that no one ever knows.
And I say hi, but she's too shy to say hello.
She's just waiting for that one to take her hand
And shake her up.
I bet I could.

I wish my heart was always on her mind.
'Cause she's on mine like all day, all the time.
Forget me not, forget me now.
I’ve come too far to turn around.
I’m here tonight.

 

Youmeatsix - The Dilemma





 

Let me tell you a story bout' a boy and a girl,
A very different version than you've ever heard.
Ok so I'm lying but all I'm trying to say,
This isn't about the one that got away.

 

 

Ok Go - Here it goes again



 

 

Just when you think that you're in control,
just when you think that you've got a hold,
just when you get on a roll,
here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again.

 

 

Train - Sing together



 



If I go before I say to everyone in my ballet
Let me take this chance to thank you for the dance

 

Sing together
If you knew me from the very start,
Or we met last week at the grocery mart
Just sing together
It's the least that I can do
My final gift to you

 

Train - This'll Be My Year

 

No more
Countin' down the hours
No more
Wishin' you were here
I stopped believin',
Although Journey told me 'don't'
Before I call it a day,
Maybe this'll be my year

 

 Cause everybody talks, everybody talks

To much.

 

 

 

 

 



new project

I will write a post about my mood using lyrics that i listen to,

my song collection is vast but what i actually listen to varies on my mood on life not that point in time, but on life in full.


*EDIT*

and tell a story of my time of late.

:D

YOU ARE CRAZZZY

ALL OF YOU HOW DID I NOT SEE IT SOONER.

BETHANY JURD

IS A VERY ODD PERSON WHO USES SOMEBULLSHIT WEBSITE CALLED TUMBLR



AND SHE CANT PLAY POOOL



AND HAS A UNUSUAL DANCE STYLE I DONT KNOW WHY THIS IS IN CAPS BUT IT IS

AND WHAT

i am having a crush atm


ITS LOVELY

i have an odd group of people...

... that i surround myself, i have waited a few weeks to describe each one and ill even split them up into the different areas i see these people.
 
Criminology Peeps
Dan - he wants to be a policeman and has already begun his training to do so, quite relaxed about everything and a huge fan of football.

Elliott - loves video games, films, comics, and bondage. when describing him i call him a social anomaly. even more so now then ever.

Jenna - in your face open minded and best described as someone told her to grow a pair and she may have done so. the force is strong with this one.

Vicky - best described as a "vintage" girl but under recent discovery she geeks out to lol-anything and used to be a hardcore enmo kid. awesome.

Ali - turkish lad who is always wearing a cap and can be best described as a wild card, as no one has any idea what he is gunna do.

Jess - Shes hardworking, focused and most interestingly finds everything fascinating, she meets something new and alien to her, and she then wants to learn as much as she can.

Liam - Tall dude with a geeky gamer side, first guy iu've met who uses reddit as well ANNNNND laughs at georgie

Georgie - get abused and laughed at by Liam

Jade- Kicks my arse at pool EVERY GODDAM TIME

Through Latitude Radio

Jamie - a mellow incredibly Down to earth guy who is smart funny and entertaining, and doesnt even actually know it

Beth- My boss my leader i have no idea what this friendship is but she keeps me laughing
allllllll the time

Film and Media

Bethany - Odd in a very charming way, a rival who has the whole medway as an army. i'll still win.

Jacob - makes me play Gloom and has the greatest movie knowledge of all time EVER

Elliot - huge joker fan and likes the colour purple, a lot. second greatest movie knowledge of all time.

Ollie - tintin fan nuff said.

Now the next lot of people arent people i have met at uni but people i still surround myself with.

Eastbourne

Jojo - geeky theatre nut known her for a few years and i have been a rock for her.

Josh - the ying to Jojo's yang they are both very similar and why they are inseperable when together.

Emma - bullied me from 9 to year 11 and i still keep her around god she must be a nice person or something.

Alex - first girl i ever took ona date i was the ripe age of 13. and she STILL puts up with, god i must be a nice person or something.

Imy - wtf are you? your balls are bigger then mine dammit!

Kent - obviously my family is void from this list

Anna - another bully. how strange i surround myself with people who pick on me. she does smell and is short though.

Amber - increidbly unusual artist who has more tattoo designs on other people then i have ever met.

Danny - my bro my manlove. he's a babe.

Chloe - i gave her a special blogpost read that! i aint gunna repeat myself!

Robyn - chloes other half. epic babe.

Winchester

Cissy - legend

ill come back as i remeber people.

HHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAALPPPP

MAYDAY
MAYDAY

HAAALP

MAYDAY MAYDAY

MAYDAY MAYDAY MY EYES HURT MY EYES

Curiousness...

i celebrated my younger sisters 18th birthday this weekend and after a great meal a great movie marathon i found myself alseep on the sofa with a girl aslppe next to mewith her legs across my lap (to make it more comfrotable for her)

i was just enjoying the company of a girl without the issue of my ex being involved or my history mattering.

i woke up at 4 in the morning with the movie ending and people starting to go and crash in various beds and sofas that were free, it took a whole 30 seconds to realise...

we had been holding hands the whole time.

Pugwash and his crew (iii)

 

 

Now how to define this one...

 

I guess the ship needs a chaplain?

 

Lydia Hammond. shes smart funny kind hearted caring beautiful.....

 

 

and is the only person i actually yield to.

 

i will protect her

guide her

help her

care for her

and i hope you know how lucky your truely are.

 

but the moment she tells me to stand down.

 

if the old england i would be a knight a squire. but she wouldnt be my damsel, she would be my lady. I will stand by her indefinately.

 

 

Lydia Hammond

Awesome.



the awkward moment.

for anyone whoever doesn't see me for a while

find the situation unbearable.
finds the situation awkward

turn to me and say hi. then hug me. simple as that.

Light hearted (i)

          

It was never like this. The music caused a thick thumping in her ears. The club’s lights bounced across the walls filling the room with piercing strikes. It was spinning around her, she could feel the poison of the drinks they had been buying her all night, coursing through her veins. A change had come so quickly no one was prepared, no one knew how to react but only so few had the power to deal with it. She was once a quiet girl, innocent. She had never been a drinker, never been a smoker, she never went to clubs, she never used her phone, she was the A grade student, all teachers were proud to teach her all students wished to be her or be near her.

Her life had changed

Her name was Kyte Fisher.

The change came when she had met the boy, he was older then her, he said he was 19, only two years older than she was, but his eyes. His eyes were much older, they held centauries, and they were a rough grey as if his generations of living had worn the colour away, she met him on a Thursday and that following night, ironically Friday the 13^th was her first night out.

She had been unconvinced at first, she didn’t even know his name, he just had a smile that left her breathless and more than that, he was the physical embodiment of temptation. He was everything she was not, she stood about 5 and a half feet tall, long white-blond hair and a little baby faced but overall she knew she was beautiful, many guys had their eye on her they only watched her as she walked by, she never looked back however, she didn’t know how to. She had never wanted to.

But him,  He was over 6 foot, his arms covered in tattoos, his dark brown hair covered his colour-lost eyes but they were constantly alive the glowed underneath his fringe, they were always watching, observing around him constantly. When Kyte and he met each other’s eyes, she felt he was staring straight through her at things only he can see.  

She met him outside the club the brisk air gave her a chill, it was a midsummer night and she had chosen to wear a short black dress which got the reaction she had hoped. As he looked her up and down his mouth curled into a grin she felt slightly fearful though, he looked at her like a piece of food he could devour at any second. He however, looked exactly like she had remembered, the bad boy in which she feared and adored in just a day, and that was the last clear thought she had of the night, quickly it all became a haze of alcohol, drugs music and men. The men swarmed around her as she danced, she danced and danced, lost in the music, her mind empty, alone.

Then she found his face, his smile, that tempting smile pulled her towards him she was no longer in control and before she knew what she was doing she was kissing him her body on fire she needed him, they were out of the club, out of a taxi, into his house, his room, out of their clothes, and into his bed.  Her entire body felt as if the fire was tearing out of her. He was the cause of an inferno.

She awoke merely hours later, alone. The room was empty, the house was empty and she couldn’t make any sense of it she hadn’t paid much attention other than to the bed she now laid in. The walls bare, the cupboards empty, other than the bed there wasn’t any other furniture in the house. So she left. She was groggy from the drink that had clearly had a lasting effect. The morning effect overwhelmed Kyte. Cars approached along the road, their jet engines left her ears ringing.

It all became too much for her hung-over self to handle and before she knew what was happening she was running, she needed to be home, she needed to be in bed and the streets and the  houses and the  friends flew past her as she continued to blast her way through the town, half blind and half deaf she was suddenly on the road lying face down the warmth covering her face The darkness and silence that followed left Kyte assuming from the light and sound that had crippled her had killed her, not a single thought could be more plausible. She was dead. A car had suddenly mounted the kerb and smashed her down and killed her. How else could the hell that had taunted her for the extent of the morning be gone? It wasn’t till she heard his voice did she realise she was burrowed into a chest, a boy’s chest. She reluctantly removed herself to be met by eyes that were green, or brown, or hazel she couldn’t decide. A flop of hair that sat ruffled on top of his head that made him look...  goofy no other word could describe him. His hair was a light shade of bronze, leaving him looking almost statuesque. She mumbled her apologies which were met with laughter almost musical to her ears, he didn’t care and she would normally be annoyed by his obvious enjoyment of her clumsiness but she couldn’t help feeling like he had absorbed the light and killed the hell. But she stilled needed to be home. She detached herself from him and the pain slowly crept back but was much less overbearing now. The rest of her journey was much easier now she could think straight and 8 hours spent under her duvet till night fell.  She hadn’t eaten a thing for over a day but there was a different hunger deep down inside her that consumed her being. She needed to be out again she needs to feel the light and the energy that she felt. So she dragged herself to her wardrobe and prepared herself for another night.

A thought snuck into her head, what if he was there? What if the boy came back? This excited her she needed to feel him, taste him again. This fuelled her more, the room materialised into the club once again and she danced and drank and searched for the tattooed boy who disappeared, the night grew long and she saw no sign of him or his eyes, or devilish grin. And soon enough she found that her beauty and body drew men to her, so why did she need that boy she could pick from any of them. The mouths open the bodies yearning for hers, and she could choose any of them.

This became her life. Her days were spent at school being the model student, her nights at the clubs drinking and dancing and using men to try and fill the hunger she always had and couldn’t satisfy, she always looked for that boy who drew her to this life but she never found him. A year on she was stilling looking. Working her way through the bar she suddenly felt light, drowsy the room began to blur; she felt the poison in her veins more so then that first time she came here, she looked at the drink in her hand and noticed the normal brilliant blue of her venom of choice contained little white pieces that slowly dissolved and the realisation hit her like a train, she had been drugged. This wasn’t the first time and thankfully some good citizen in the woman’s toilet pulled her out of the club and put her into a taxi before the night became the horror story her teachers always warn the girls in school about. But tonight was different her body told her that, she looked around trying to make eye contact with someone to help her. Anyone to help her.

This is when she saw him again; the boy with the tattoos was watching her across the floor. At first she felt relieved and excited he would surely remember her? He’d help her? These thoughts of hope were short lived as his eyes glowed, he didn’t look at her with the passion or fire he did before. He looked at her with a look of hunger, like she was a piece of meat that a wolf like himself would devour when he had a chance, he began to walk towards her as she turned to run, he wasn’t what she was looking for, he wasn’t the man she’d met, he was something much darker, she had no doubt in her mind, he was the one who poisoned her drink.

Crashing through a side door in the club into a back alley, she would normally come here as a safe haven when the drink was too much and her body rejected it, but despite the need her body had to be sick she began down the alley and was forced to stop as she was met with... nothing? A solid deep nothingness that stopped her from getting away, it towered to the top of the alley and prevented her from getting through, she turned but exiting the door she had left was the boy. His grin left a feeling of a shark about to sneak upon a swimmer too tired to get away. Within seconds she was pinned against the bleak nothingness.

She was terrified, he had her by the neck and the look in the boy’s eye meant she knew she couldn’t stop him from anything he wanted to do.  She was helpless.  She was going to die. His hand shifted to her throat and her world began to fade away into the dark, a thought crossed her mind as it held onto the last of her strength. If she survived, she’d never drink again. Seconds from her last breath, Kyte wished for anything, anyone to help her.

Before she lost all consciousness she heard a voice, a male voice, he screamed out to her, “Vergil! LET HERE GO!”

 Stood in the alley was the Boy who had laughed at her the first morning after her first night out, she fell into a heap on the floor as the man she know knew was called Vergil released her throat, “my my a lowly angel is trying to face me? You are brave, and stupid. Like so many of your kind.” Vergil’s voice was deep and filled with a mocking tone, it filled the alley and Kyte’s chest left her frozen in fear.

The boy with the goofy hair smirked, opening both his hands a glow radiated as he brought them together in front of him. “Catch.” He threw the glow from his hand and it was met with a dark purple that Vergil had fired himself with such speed she hadn’t even seen his hand leave his side but it was now  pointing directly at the boy.

The two colours collided in the centre of the alley; there was a bright light and Kyte suddenly was in a white room. The boy and Vergil was gone, not a single sound to be heard yet it was like a sweet serenity to her ears. She was in heaven she knew it, but she was not entirely sure that she was dead.

 

a guide to girls from an awkward teen (i)

Class dismissed.

Ginge.

My first ever genuine date was when I was thirteen years old. I was short, messy-haired and a bit on the chubby side as my body was storing energy for what my mum kept referring too as the well overdue growth spurt. I had recently moved schools and not really had that much luck making friends with boys let alone girls; however, I remember the exact moment when I found myself blushing bright red – similar to the red of the cute freckled girl’s hair that had at that moment plucked up the courage to tell me that she liked me. (i say she did it, she plucked up the courage to ask her best friend to ask me out).  

Now this for all intensive purposes is what was considered “asking out” at this age, the childish concept of asking a neutral third party to complete a task on behalf of the initiating party (in this case, Ginge) granted this is still used now via the use of texting someone to ask them out but for the point of this chapter Elleesha Phillips will be referred to as Samsung as in this story they both have the same role...

If I remember correctly I was stood in line outside my PSHE classroom (which we then called RE) and all three of us were about to go inside. By “three” I mean me, Ginge and Samsung. In the blur of the moment I casually flashed a cheeky smile, saying that I’d meet her at the cinema at four pm for the movie and I’ll get her a lift home, it couldn’t be much later, as I was thirteen and I had a curfew plus my mum would probably drop me off and pick me up in the evening anyway...

...At least that is what I thought happened; in reality I blushed even more, panicked, screamed “YES!” and bolted into my classroom, tripping over my own two feet before face planting my desk and consequently knocking myself out. Thankfully my best friend heaved me into my seat and asked me “what the hell are you so scared of agreeing to do?”  ginge and her friends on the other  hand were vibrating from giggling. I could put this down to two reasons: Ginge was having some form of panic-induced stroke or Samsung was on vibrate.

Three hours later, when I sat down after an “intense” game of football (that was how I spent most of my lunchtimes at this age), my friends actually pointed out to me I now had a girlfriend. This startling revelation caused me to choke so hard on my apple juice that my Pokémon cards fell out of my pocket.

I had a girlfriend. What did that mean? Well from what Tracy Beaker, Fairly Odd Parents, Power Rangers and Kenan and Kel taught me, you go to the cinema together and do this thing called “kissing”.  I discussed this with my two closest friends, DB and Sander. DB had a girlfriend nicknamed Vampy, and Sander had never had one. Thus, the dumb led the blind as we had this conversation.

Me: I have a girlfriend...

DB & Paul: Yes.

Me: What do I do?

DB: Hold her hand, give her hugs, occasionally kiss...

Me: WHAT?! I don’t know how to do that!

Paul: I’m sure it’s OK. Come on, people kiss all the time!

Me: KISS?! STUFF THAT, LETS SORT OUT THIS HUGGING THING FIRST!

Now every young boy goes through this phase, because to them the concepts of hugging and kisses on the cheek are associated with mums, grandmothers and aunts – because let’s face it, they are not considered girls. (Sorry mum) That night I went onto my dad’s computer and began some lengthy research into one point that I wanted to make sure was not going to be an issue for me: Cooties.

Fortunately I found it to be a fake disease, and that you couldn’t catch any disease from having a girlfriend. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my dad for enabling the safety settings on the family computer. Thirteen year-old me would have definitely jumped off a bridge if my research had yielded results explaining STI’s.   

FOOOOR AMMMEEEERICA

I'm an avid follower of  politics, more specifically the american politics.

 

everynight i watch the daily show. hosted by the brilliant Jon Stewart which takes a slightly silly immature and entertaining weekday show that pokes fun of the US politics.

 

What for me is most entertaining is that Mr Stewart, who often plays the fool or "goon" in the show, he is incredibly intelligent, more than that he is passionate about his country. he doesnt sit in his front porch drinking beer wearing his old army helmet shooting foreigners for his country.

is that offensive? Cissy as my editor let me know

 

He watchs the media and how they "REPORT" the political news, and then shows the boiled down essence of what they are saying.

 

but occasionally he has a segment or piece of news that rubs him the wrong way.

Cissy - again - can i say that?

he takes this infomation and then produces an incredible rant destroying whatever is such evil.

Like he does here

 

on the last note. Obama needed to get his finger out during the debate.

BUT ROMNEY WANTS TO KILL SESAME STREET HE EVEN SINGLED OUT BIG BIRD

DICK.



Captain Pugwash And His Crew(ii)

every ship needs a medical officer

 

this is Dr Rozzlo

 

 

this is a somewhat unusual outfit...

 

this is better but not by a lot

 

this is my wonderful younger sister Bex, shes odd funny mental crazxzy insane unstable...

 

and sweet? she is technically my half sister as her dfather is my step daad, but i dont care, i've known the yke since she was a blur in a phtot and now know her as the pain inthe arse thats actually wondeful.

kinda.

 

our personalitys are similar wenough that we get on but not enough that we clashas some siblings do, but shes my sister and i love her.

 

 

 

 

there is also one other sister i should mention but it is her 18th birthfay next week, ill mention her then.