i am who i am...

...because of......

Cleaves
Whitfield
Fothergill
Latter
Mckweon
Bucky
Muggy
Jonesy
Mum
Collins
The Matins
Jon-rod
Captain Coin
The Asian persuasion
Skelly
Stratwick
Nagle
Hone
Graheam
Gilbert

Point in Time.

its fascinating how things have this uncanny ability to represent different things to a person.

Many people have a collection, a hobby, a set of items and products they collect from various events or occurrences.

My dad has snow globes and can easily identify where each one of those snow globes came from.
My Grandma collect ornament dragons from all over the world.
My Uncle,  Medals
Muggy collects owls
But Bucky and i have a similar philosophy.

We collect things of insignificant value to anyone else but ourselves.

I have the balloon card and badge my two greatest friends at university gave me.

i still have the receipt the first time me and Jess went to the sweet shop together.
The painting Vicky did of a Mario flower for me.

the ticket of mine and holly's first concert.

Mine and Alex's first bottle of cider together. (also the whiskey and the vodka bottles was a rough night)

Candy-lynn is still in a boz in my cupboard because of an infamous Elliott.

this week i went out and bought for a whole £1.50 a replica pirates pistol.
its now represents the night Flat 14 made me an honorary flatmate.



Im a hopeless romantising fool.
And this treasure would be anothers man junk.
id never get rid of a single on of these items though.

This..

..is one of my favourtie videos on youtube.

I could do this for charity?

right?

Past, Future, Present, Drunk, Sugar-hyped

I adopted a brilliant terminology from the popular gaming network rooster-teeth, more notably the Head of the company Burnie Burns.

I often say things or do things that i haven't even prepared for myself. i work on split-second responses and it does mean you get the purest most honest version of me. 

And i work at my best, most brilliant when thats the case.

that being said. actions by me at the time may in some way screw me over in the future. 

I could hold myself responsible but it is much easier to blame "Past Ben" then GODDAMMIT ME.

Getting drunk at a party with a 9 o'clock lecture the next day, is "Future Ben's" problem.

and the next morning when hungover and hating the universe, i curse "Drunk Ben" as he's an arsehole.

My Name Is Benjamin Joshua Pugwash Collins Jones

Captain B Pugwash

Puggy.

A Future Laird Of Scotland.

365 Days

365 Days since I moved in to my flat in London.
I've gained 7 New Friends.
I Lost 1.
Got that one back.
Lost 2 more.

Still Happier.

Started Single,
Had 3 relationships.
Ended Single

Still Happy.

Started Without a Job
Had 2
Got a Third.

Still Happier.

Reconnected with some.
disconnected with others.

Still Happy.

The last 12 months, 365 days, many more hours and thousands more minutes. ive lived in london.

and its been thebest year of my life.

heres to two more.

One Year.

One year since moving to london.

There will be a blog out later tonight

Manipulation, Selfishness, Control.

Do not regret the things you do, Regret the things you don't do.

Despite popular belief i do not regret my longest serious relationship, i regret the damage i left behind in my wake. 

i do not regret texting you

i regret not relaying my side of the story to those around me. 

6 Months ago a Good friend told me to Man Up and Get Over Myself.

I'm now happier then ever. 

You didn't hurt him by breaking up with him. 

You Hurt Him by breaking up with others.

You never really consider the emotions of the people who pick up the pieces. you look at the two involved. 

There is always a Hero and a Villain, both hurt both damaged, but one walks away.

but they are rarely okay themselves. my three past relationships i ended not because i hated the individuals. but because it was right thing to do. Two of them i still cared for them so dearly. 

I did it to protect any hope of a friendship.

So i walked away but i was hurt. 

but i was arrogant to think that no one else would suffer rather then just the girl. 

Someone always picks up the pieces, but what do you do if the same perosn picks up the pieces the same time every time. 

They hurt too.

All i say is, 

All those who have held your hand when your scared

Helped fix your broken heart.

Made you smile when you were sad.

Laugh  when you were hurt.

Thank them. 

They deserve it.